MOMENT

She came running but it was late again. She thought she didn´t deserve any friend. Alone, surrounded by them, she couldn´t wait for this story to end. It´s too much for her, cold on this sunny day, sad is the only way. Threatened to take away her freedom, she hide from herself to go through life on silent wisdom. Running away, start to feel the same, she´s getting bored of playing the same wrong game, guess she´ll have to use another name. Feeling happy is not for her, it´s an illusion for them to stare. Leave her alone, don´t need his smile, she´s not sorry, just want to look into the black hole for a while. She doesn´t like to turn into what she becomes, sadly there´s no one around to hold her hand. Must she always be so wrong ? it sound so stupid to listen the same scratched song. She must forget and stand up, but then again, what´s the point on doing that. It´s always bringing her down, kicked and bruised, burried underground. Tired of being lonely, this world is not for her, what can she know under these clouds, just that she´s still standing there. Is she making herself clear ? All she want is have a moment to dissapear.

LAST CHANCE

Their behavior is unacceptable, the world they live in is so unbearable. They even speak in a foreign language, far away in space they can manage. Never judge them because of their action everytime the say one word they do it with passion. Love seem to be all around but to notice it they have to make no sound. Tired, bored and hungry the long way back home turn them a little bit angry. Impatient and cold they are quickly growing old. He try to stay quiet or she would start a never ending riot. Whenever they build, there has to be destruction, otherwise, is

a relation with no atraction.

GIVE THEM A REASON

She sat under the wide, old tree, felt the moist wood with her left hand, trying to touch the reality that she couldn´t understand. It will take time and hard work to heal, it happens everytime that she is so obssesed to feel. The wound is still open, the system fragile and unstable, every other day, the darkness gets into deep and make her doubt that she is always able. He was on his way to his secret, lonely place, where he can be sure nobody can see his face. Try to keep calm but lost all faith, instead of finding a better reason for him to stay. Now the time to play for them is over, they want to build a present that can remain sober. It might be difficult, or look impossible, but the thruth has always been the same, as long as they try, is the only way they know that stop them from going insane.

PRISONER OF HIS OWN DEVICE

She wonders where is he wondering, and what is he looking for, or if he is looking for something. Usually he doesn´t look because he is too busy exploring incredible things that just found kind of by accident if you don´t believe in destiny, He is too curious for loosing the opportunity to see things upside down because in that way he gets to understand a bit more and accept why and what life is about, and the way they behave and treat each other could be the only and big difference between knowing what is right and what isn´t. Only then he can trust to close his eyes and walk barefoot through the dark and scary part of that period of time, a moment she calls life, without the usual fear that crawls under his skin and seems that it is going to eat him up slowly from inside out and makes him really believe that is failling or loosing when really there is no better one or winners in this fake game where everyone wants to compete even when there is no ending in this so called race, and no golden cup to give to the first one that arrives to that lost, unknown and lonely place where nobody is waiting clapping and happy because no one really cares about him.

LOVE IS ALL

Her voice on that song is all that he listen when she´s gone. Don´t need words to be long to know what they have is strong. Maybe today they will find the better way to get there somehow and stay. What else could it be if it´s not what they see. Is there someone out who knows what is that all about? He doesn´t even care for the definition of normal or rare, just want her smile for him to stare.

BROKEN

By this time it should be stolen, quietly and with no problem. She is still running away while he sit down to play. Once there was a start, now that she is so smart he feels an empty chest with no heart. It was violently removed by those who never should. Playing with fire simply makes him tired. "Look around and tell me what you´ve got" - she said - Nevermind, she always choose to forgot instead.

DO NOT SHARE

So easy for him to fake it when he has no idea how to make it. The possible seems impossible when she´s so low that every step she take is too damn slow. Realize to recognize that everything in this life has a price. Do not start from the end cause that way they don´t even have one friend. Loneliness is priceless when she has so much things to confess. Starting again is something they can´t do that is a great gift just for a few. Intelligence and hability is not a problem for these kids just a little love is all this place needs. Hiding behind a palm tree he is still waiting for her to feel free.

ASLEEP FOR DAYS

Once they woke up the day tasted sad walked around in circles until one of them went mad. A new window was opened the concrete wall was already broken. Fragile he tried to hide away no place now for him to stay. Back in black she cried for a stupid reason and lost the most lovely thing she ever have had. The return to reality was such an impossible act on their own twisted mentality. Where was their mind when they needed it so bad all this time?

REPEAT IT

One more time for now it´s fine need a way to keep these dreams out of his mind. She stepped on mud with her dirty dress now walks so sad. The party was long time over though it wasn´t enough to be them both sober. Struggling still with the unconcious business talking to themselves in a complete state of dizzines. Waiting for the time where it all will be fine, sleepy, tired and afraid on and on the story starts again.

THE SAD UGLYNESS OF REALITY

A long time ago, before the woman become a whore, it was a nice place were they didn´t need more than their own space. Now all that is gone and lost two tortured souls need a new host. She wants him far away though that night said to him - "stay". He stood up and walked away with a picture of happyness on an interrupted dream delay.

TOO MANY FAREWELLS

He´s trying not to think about the past, wondering if he could return to be lost in time, adrift knowing he would never get down from cloud nine. She was so sure that what she see is´t just blur. Running to hide away each time she says goodbye going back home repeating a big sad sigh. Nothing was ever so strong then how could all this be wrong.

TOXICITY

At certain level, she knew what´s better. To hang on to past and get lost forever. He tried to avoid her in any way but it was all said she came here to stay. Do not call or trust in somone like them their attitude will only create a bigger problem. Keep your chaep seat ! - she shouted - now you are someone I don´t need. Keep it coming there is no place for him to go running.

DISABLED

The morning light cut though the dream they had after midnight. Their mood is no longer good. She screams and cries for a thousand alibis. He walk in circles around a crazy idea she´s no longer there or even near. Spending their time together not to lose inside forever. Go along he just want to sing you his new song. Do not precipitate there is no rush in throwing all these years into the trash. Be a better friend and shut up both know these things come to an end.

NO CURE

Is this real, why is it so obscure? there´s no one there to be sure. Steal and run is all they can there is not enough proves to know they´ve won. Be patient and it won´t take long one shitty day doesn´t mean the whole life is wrong. Then why she does that knowing he couldn´t carry it on his back. He wanted to talk about it but she was on another planet. He just hope someday they could run away. It could be any day of the weak until then he will still be sick.

OUTSIDE FROM THE BOX

Hungry and tired of walking they slowly stop talking. Every now and then she said to him - "you know you´re my friend" - but he knew deep inside all things must come to an end. Happy or not that was all what he thought. Shouting has no use like living in this world wich he refused. "Don´t drag me down with you " - she said out loud - "I don´t like living on a cloud" - "Go away and don´t come back I´m in a middle of a panic attack" - so that ´s what he did walking away without ever looking back. Alone, stoned and cold everyting he does is just getting bored, angry and old.

UNDERWATER

Finally something new just a simple but different point of view. She runs desperately towards the light while he hides between the guilty shadows in the night. Everything was said everything was told their innocent souls were cheap and silently sold. He whispered - "meet me down on the underground" - but no one listened she had already turned around. No more time left to lose life is not something that you choose. "Come back" - she screamed - "don´t leave me alone" - but it was to late again he was far away gone. Painful in misery and broken their heartbeats were weak sad and stolen.

THE MYSTERIOUS SOMEONE

Sometimes she hates while he is busy in love now all that matters is the colours of the sky above. Nothing to feel something to steal when their love is too real. A kiss on the cheek her hand on his face need more time to put the things on their place. A silver ring on her delicate finger time to notice and let him linger. Push to hard and he will break it talking slow not to fake it. Bring down her views and feelings always remembering love has more than two meanings.

COULD YOU

Last time she whispered softly near his ear, " Is this what you want to hear?, I don´t want to be with you or any where near. If you dislike life like you said why don´t cut your throat with a knife instead. I´m tired of listening to your complaints, I´m human not a saint. Please leave now before it´s too late, I have this strange deep felling of burning hate".

NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE

Walking through this dark forest of dead trees they don´t feel no hunger or even pray on their knees. No more things to ask they can take now off their masks. Reality is worse than what she thought when the day comes the light did not. He stood up and said "let´s die together instead", now that she knows him they´re far away ahead. She scremead "please don´t do that again !", either way it was to late, the only thing that can stop the pain is to get lost under this thick dark acid rain.

SHARING NEEDLES

Back in those days there were fewer ways to keep them calm and make her say "I need your love, don´t go away". He stood up and walk right through, the smallest door, to know the truth. "Don´t need your love where I´m going to" he said shouting in the rain, "the only thing I need is my damaged brain". Feeling lucky and a bit unhappy they share it all but between them is a hard brick wall. Don´t worry about their story, where they are going there is no faith, there is no glory. Standing under the hot desert sun their lives have no more fun.

BLACK & BLUE

Many years have passed since she first asked how much time is going to take for him to make the same mistake over and over again with a little help from an inside friend. Is this really the end or just another stupid message she sent? Either way get out from their space the last thing he wants is to see your face. Put on your daily mask to walk the streets at last and don´t even ask what the hell happens at dusk.

DANCING WITH A GUN

This ending is where it all began a life like theirs has no more fun. Even though now they know how can someone be so low. Trusting no one feeling lonesome going up to the clouds now just to fall down. Don´t come near them with your cheap chatter listening to you is something they won´t matter.

DAWN

When the time comes - she said - are you going to be ready? or it will be another story with no ending. Sacrifice is not a problem, no guilt for what they have stolen. No more time left to lose even if it has no use all the love that they had refused if he is so distant how can she be his muse?.

NEW SONG

Living complicated times make them turn every word into insane rhymes. Since she knew what´s left is few, scream and shout is nothing new. From the top of the roof he is going to jump to feel the only feelings he can understand. Don´t make any sudden movement if you want to see them for a moment. They are shy and a bit agressive too, she likes to dance in the dark while he´s howling at the full moon.

LINES OF EXPRESSION

It was no pressure for this obsesion, she just followed the rythm of her own expression. Tumbling on the road she doesn´t want to be a load for the boy she once loved. Adrift, naked and cold these waves of feelings do their job. Surprisingly bad she hide it all under her hat for no one to see until she goes mad.

DESPERATE

When there is nowhere to go they have a secret place of their own, where they have lived and grown not so long ago. A little hide away with falling rain, enough to clean his soul and refresh her brain. He said "stay" in a soft whisper but it was too late, she already had gone away.

WRONG

This must be a confusion, no longer real, neither an ilusion. Why is this happening to them?...feel like dying, go to hell, and be born again. It means nothing when she´s crying about something, it usually hears like laughing. Maybe right maybe wrong either way all their luck is gone.

LOST

This wasted shoes have no use anymore they don´t walk like they usually did before. Barefoot they cross this land without accepting any helping hand. Friends come and go, family is something they don´t know. Moaning, creeping and lying, all they feel like is dying.

PARKING SPOT

They like hangin´around all thrugh this town floating on clouds until they come down and put their feet on the ground. Later that day he started to play, then she came along where nothing is wrong and asked softly..."can I sing you my song?".

SOMETHING AGAINST YOU

Far away on the distance they can´t find a way of resistance when they listen to the rythms of this dance. It feels comfortable when their feet touches the street in search of need of something sweet. May be difficult too, with so much things they have against you. No need to be rough this kids aren´t tough enough to understand all of your complicated stuff. So don´t come crying even if you feel like dying, care about you is the only thing they are not trying.

REASON

It is so easy for them to stay but so hard to continue and play. They run around in circles tired of waiting for miracles. Just need one reason, they know it is not the seasson. Come near so you can watch and hear, the crying and the tear. No need for abuse, in their world there is no use, for the practice of violence that they refuse.

INSIDE THE WALL

There is a hole inside this wall, where they keep what they need a lot and throw away what they don´t. Sometimes stay there for days or weeks, in silent calm where no one speaks. Time to get out?...don´t even think about, just try to shout until he shiver all the way down through the bloody river. Don´t say yes don´t say no, it´s time for him to go.

BACKWARDS

There is no use on running backwards even if it is the only way to go through this darklands. Put a lock on the door and throw away the key there is someone in her head and is not she. Become his partner his lover and his best friend, does it mean this has to be the end? They run into the forest. "Dont leave me alone" - she said - , "Never again" - he answered - with a smlie on his face and a hand holding her head.

SHOOT ME

Sometimes always she walk sideways may be raining even in the bad days. She need it in her veins, this neddle shoots something insane so she can ease the pain in her brain and feel safe again. Stop cursing stop lying just tired of dying. Carry the weight for this whole time, she challenge your camera it all will be fine if we walk together through this thin line.

ONE HIT

One hit of that shit it´s enough to make it less rough. To walk through this land holding her hand even if it´s only in his mind. Let it begin while he start to sing let it all out and tell the world what it´s all about. Don´t roll one just float on the smoke of some. Be a nice guest and pass me the bong for a little test.

FIVE STRINGS ONLY

In this new day he wanted to say that he is not ok. If he is alone because now she is gone, must he be strong or suffer along? Now that he is lonely, just play with five strings only.

DANCING AWAY

It´s a perfect day not for us to stay, together and say, now there is no way. Let´s move to the groove of this quiet sound, sleep and eat and hang around. There is no sense if it´s not intense, time to be alone and find each one a place to call home.

ACID CANDY

At midnight he woke up sweating and worried, tired of listening at all this stories. Filling his brain with something insane it is not worth waiting in vain. He began to shout what was all about now there is no one around to hear any sound. So deep on his own trip, so many bullets he must skip. Now he waits alone for that girl to come home, on a sunny day she just went out to play.

NEW ENDING

She stood up on one quick movement and wrote aggresively on the wall "leave me alone, I want depression, I feel at home". Back into the bed playing with her head, before she left, is that all she said? Sitting on the side, cursing the human race, she wants to dissapear for a few hours even for some days.

INSIDE

Is it or is it not, are they near or far from wrong. Can anybody tell them where to go, or just get lost inside their own home. This could be an ilusion or maybe the start of a real revolution. Come insde take your time it will be fine. Be our guest, take it all, this is not a test.

COUNTING STARS

Last night he watched the sky as he had never seen it before while she slept quietly. The time for a change is nearer than they think they can learn to float or just sink. Time will tell and "I wish you well" -sadgirl said- he just needed something for his head. Leave me alone because I want to cry who knows maybe this is our last goodbye.

PERSISTENT

Days are longer nights are over, shall he quit before he can´t control it? - wondered sadboy in his mind. There are certain kind of special people walking among them, maybe sitting by their side on the bus, they look like someone you don´t trust, knowing them is what they must. Creeping and moaning on their bed, sadgirl had spent most of the day. She is thinking of something clever to say. Now they know there is no more time to play.

RECYCLED

After a few hours of going round in circles not getting anywhere just starting from the same place over again. It was easier to understand why sadgirl was so upset, while sadboy was high laughing at whatever passes by his face. It is time to make some radical changes in this plan, live the life while they still can. Trying new places looking at different faces. But they will always be sagirl and sadboy, the ones who played for years, laughing with the same toy.

THEN SHE SAID

Hello, where can I find a secret place to rest my mind? I need it badly for my brain it is so difficult to ease the pain. I came here on my own now it is so hard to be alone. Be my friend, stay again, tied up with a strong thick chain. Words are useless at this time, I got the feeling nothing of this is mine. Hanging around sleeping on clouds always far above the ground. A never ending story where there is no pain there is no glory. Falling down upwards until I hit something while there was a voice on my head softly singing. Not you not me not here or there I used to die anywhere. Please give me a little more of that before I kill myself or go mad. Now I must leave you and walk my way there is nothing left to say.

RESTRICTED REALITY

One beat after another, sadboy felt his heart go slower almost as his game was over. Reality was far away from them, carefully decided not to make the same mistakes again. Their adventure was just starting, they go slow and never running. Sceaming and crying was part of the day, raining or snowing they always play. Then he heard an oldman say: "Try to understand my friend, this is not the only end".

DROP

The way you drop is like a stone

Making out you're flying

But you've just been thrown

Till kingdom comes

And through bitten tongues

These eyes get stung

With every curse that's sung

These twisted times

Can't compare to mine

And heaven knows where loving goes

I should have guessed

When I took that pill

Do I love her still

Well did Jesus kill.

-The Jesus and Mary Chain -

UNDER THE SURFACE

Peaceful places images appear on their way back to reality. Running does´t make any sense, the trip itself is so intense. Soft conversations on the road to strange locations is what they do. "Don´t be upset" - thought sadboy to himself, while he looked at what he have around, nothing better than that quiet sound.

photo by Giuliana Borda Silva (England).

DELETE

As soon as they wake up, the nightmare begins over and over again. Almost as if they were not even friends. "Come with me" - said sadboy to her ear, but she do not want to be anywhere near. Once they run together towards the same prize, neither one of them got closer to what they thought it would be. Now there is nothing else for them to see. "Get out !" - said sadgirl, tired and hungry, she wanted to be alone and angry. Without a home again, burried in the mud my friend, this may get to it´s worst end. Rainy days are over, nothing learned while he grow older. Life is wasted, twisted like a used napking, thrown to the rubbish with the garbage. Here she comes, all dressed in colours, worried as if she would die tomorrow. No more crying, no more sorrow, all his soul is now and forever hollow.